Holy Moly...

Holy moly...where did the last two years go? How did they fly by so fast? Who was I two years ago? I don't even remember. What I do remember is that I've spent the last three years (including pregnancy) focusing every ounce of energy, attention and love on one certain little girl who is my proudest accomplishment and gift to the world and who is GROWING up so quickly. I have spent the past two years living my own whirlwind of exhaustion, hence the photo of my daughter and I, who are polar opposites in appearance but sleep in the exact same positions or as my daughter says, "Mama, look we the same, we twins."

The one thing I've realized from having this sweet girl in my life is that regardless of life's ups and downs, there is still a way to smile and laugh every single day. No matter how bad of a day I'm having, how sick I am, no matter how many days I haven't had a shower, no matter how cranky I am, there is one little girl who thinks I'm the BEST. To one little girl I am the prettiest, smartest, nicest, cuddliest, most loving human being who ever walked the earth. To one little girl I AM HER WORLD. How cool is that?! I made that happen! I did something right. I did something VERY right.

A few random things from the mouth of my babe that make me smile for hours on end at the moment....

"Mama, you lookA just like a pWincess."

"Mama, you look bOOtiful."

"Mama, your hair is pWitty."

"Mama, you a girl, I a kid."

"Mama, I so pWoud of you."

"Mama, I be PATIENT, you be doctor."
"Mama, check it out!"
"Hey GUYS, hey GUYS come here!" (Yes, my 2 year old refers to me and her Daddy as "guys".)
"Mama, I go play in my tWee house?"

Seriously, does it get any cuter? I catch myself laughing out loud just remembering it. Oh I could go on and on for days, and I will, but just not right this moment, I'm too tired.

I love it. I love her. I love being a Mom. She's 27 months old and I feel blessed for every single moment of it. BUT, is it wrong that I'm starting to miss ME? Who am I? Where did I go? Am I still out there somewhere? Has anyone seen me? I don't remember who I am and I think I need to find ME in order to continue to be the best MAMA I can be to her.

So, I'm challenging myself and attempting to try some new things and make some small changes and I'm hopeful that I will find Jessy somewhere along the way in the process. Or better yet, the new, aged (like fine wine! ha), healthier (does healthy mean no more candy? OMG!), happier (I can be MORE happy? Wow.) Mama Me (I've got the Mama part down pat, now to get the Me part down pat too.) Wish me luck!

Me & my sweet girl at the 2010 Paralymic Winter Games in Whistler, BC